In the two years that i have been able to experience the freedom of driving by myself i have had an uncanny knack for attracting people that need rides. Today was one of those days that this fact came in to play:
As i was sitting at a stop sign behind another car ready to make its merge onto route 13 just outside of delmar a truck had pulled out into the intersection. A man located on the median in between the north and southbound lanes tried semi-frantically to wave down the truck without success. He walks right across the southbound lane. The car in front of me pulls out and goes around him. The gentleman flags me down and i pull over to the shoulder as he has gained my attention. He sticks his head inside the rolled down passenger window and asks "are you headed into delmar" my reply was yes, and he asks for a ride i decide to give it to him. Up until this point i havent had a decent look at him and as i pull out he offers his hand for a hand shake as i begin to extend mine i give a good look to just who is in the passenger seat. Thats when i saw it- a teardrop(indicating he has killed) inked on his cheekbone just to the left of his eye. This immediately offset me and put me in fear. I decided to continue and pressed on past this fact though i kept it close in my thoughts as i began to put a sentence together. "where am i taking you to" i asked he said he was going to the cigarette store - which in my mind sparked a question in my mind "should i even be facilitating this?" But i said "ok." With my next choice of words i asked him if his car broke down, he then told me that he was going through a nasty divorce in which his truck which is in his ex-wife's name was driven off by her and now he doesnt have any transportation i carred on conversation for the duration of car ride which was all of maybe 3 minutes but seemed to be a lifetime by saying that i was sorry that this ordeal had happened to him.
We then arrived at his destination, and as he got out of the car he asked me "are you headed back to where you came from" and in an instant knowing he wanted a ride back i replied with a lie "no i'm not, sorry" he went on to thank me for the ride and he went on his way. As i sat at the gas station filling up i checked all of my belongings to make sure everything was there and it was.
After the whole ordeal was over and i was back on the road my thought process cleared up and i started talking to God saying "why did i lie to him." I began to ask God what kind of oppourtunities i had missed, i could have prayed for this man i could have dropped him back off at his place and invited him to church, but all because fear overtook me and i failed to trust God that he had it under control and amazing oppourtunity was missed.
I am so remorseful for telling that lie but what i am even more remorseful for is the fact that i could have told this man about Jesus today, instead i told him a lie and he (not to be morbid) could have very well died as he walked home with respect to the brevity of our lives. I was fully committed to being and unsafe christian for all of about 3 seconds.
What do we do with hitchhikers that want to go to destinations that arent something that Jesus would be about? How do we cope with the fear when these oppourtunities like this blindside us? Christians: How do we love hitch-hikers who are sometimes some of the people most willing to talk and hear what we have to say?
In desire of being an unsafe Christians its blown oppurtunities and sin like this that make me look at my own life and become sickened by it, i dont want to feel like this again...
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